26-year-old boyfriend doesn't want girlfriend to join him on vacation to Florida since she can't afford it, she says she'll ask money-insecure father instead: 'I know her family is struggling'

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Apr 12, 2025 10:00 PM EDT

Relationships are usually imbalanced in some way. One of you might be older or younger and have more or less life experience. You might come from different educational backgrounds and thus have access to different kinds of jobs. One of you might be more attractive than the other and thus experience the world a little differently. And one of you might make more money than the other. That seems to be the most common kind of imbalance in a relationship. After all, who is making exactly the same amount as their partner forever?

These imbalances are inevitable. The way you navigate these imbalances, though, is what's worth considering. If you're on the same page as partners and are comfortable communicating with each other, then everything else should be okay. But this is easier said than done, especially when there are tender feelings surrounding certain subjects. That's what happened in this situation, where a couple found themselves disagreeing about money.

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  • 01

    AITA for telling my girlfriend not to join me on vacation because of her financial situation?

    I (26M) have been dating my girlfriend (25F) for almost a year. Soon, I'll be traveling to Las Vegas for a work event. My company is covering my round-trip international flight and expenses during the event. After that, I'm planning to use my vacation days to spend some time in Florida - that part will be paid out of my own pocket (domestic flight, accommodation, food, etc.).
    via u/Adeukrox
  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10493050368
    via Kajetan Sumila

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • When one could afford a vacation that the other couldn't, a few questions started to arise. Should the boyfriend be expected to cover his girlfriend's expenses? Is it wrong for her to ask her family for help? Commenters couldn't quite agree on who was in the right. Read on for the details.

  • 03
    My girlfriend wants to join me in Florida, but she's not in a good financial situation. I just received my annual bonus, which is just enough to cover my own travel plans. She doesn't have the money and suggested asking her dad to help cover the trip.
    via u/Adeukrox
  • 04
    Here's the thing: I know her family is struggling. They don't have a car, there's often a lack of basic groceries. at home, no proper shower stall, no curtains ― things like that. So it really - doesn't sit right with me that she'd ask her dad for money to go on vacation while those basic needs are unmet.
    via u/Adeukrox
  • 05
    I'd love to travel with her someday, but I feel like this just isn't the right moment. I'm worried she'll take it personally or think I don't want her there. But to me, encouraging her to spend (or borrow) money for this trip feels irresponsible. AITA for thinking she shouldn't come and should use the money for more important things?
    via u/Adeukrox
  • 06

    Commenters considered all the factors potentially at play.

    • Old_Sheepherder_630 18h ago I personally wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who knows their dad doesn't have money for groceries and wants to ask him to finance a non-essential trip for them anyway. That level of selfishness is a deal breaker for me. NTA
    via u/Old_Sheepherder_630
  • 07
    gcot802 18h ago . I mean you are NTA, but this really isn't up to you. It's her business to manage her finances and her relationship with her dad. I agree with you that what she is doing is dumb and selfish, but that's her choice.
    via u/gcot802
  • 08
    Personally though, I do think this says something about her judgement and character. She knows her family situation. What does it say that she's willing to put them out like this for a vacation?
    via u/gcot802
  • 09
    laughinglovinglivid • 18h ago INFO: has she asked for your opinion on this, or did she just let you know she might ask her dad?
    via u/laughinglovinglivid
  • 10
    Adeukrox OP. 18h ago She told me that she asked her father, but as far as i know she isnt concernes about her finanncial situation
    via u/Adeukrox
  • 11
    Alternative_Print2... 18h ago Frankly, reading that makes me think she is hoping you will bring her to the trip. You just got your bonus and she is broke. The "I'll aks my dad" could be an akward tip for you to step-on. I could be wrong and just imagining things.
    via u/Alternative_Print279
  • 12
    Cheezburger Image 10493050624
    via Upgraded Points
  • 13
    Noise Mammoth30... • 18h ago What kind of person would ask her Dad for a trip when she knows how they live? Pretty selfish to me.
    via u/NoiseMammoth3029
  • 14
    Horror_Importanc... . 18h ago If you want to travel with her but you're worried about her financial situation, have you considered adjusting your plans so your bonus could cover a shorter or closer vacation for both of you? Or so that sharing the cost would be achievable for her?
    via u/Horror_Importance886
  • 15
    Inb4 "why should he have to cover her costs or change his vacation for her if she's not financially responsible??!??!" Of course there's no obligation to, but if this is someone you want to travel with isn't this a compromise that's worth some thought?
    via u/Horror_Importance886
  • 16
    Because, what are the other options? You either go on vacation without her or she borrows money to join you that her parents can't afford to lend. Then next year you get another bonus and what, the same thing happens again? Do you expect her
    via u/Horror_Importance886
  • 17
    financial situation to improve so she can eventually travel with you? Or are you expecting to eventually make enough that you CAN cover both of your costs? And the two of you will just never travel together until one of those things happen?
    via u/Horror_Importance886
  • 18
    Idk like solo vacations/trips/activities are fine but if you want to travel with your girlfriend it seems odd to just act like it's 100% her problem to figure out how to travel with you, and ALSO then be judgemental of how she tries to solve that problem.
    via u/Horror_Importance886
  • 19
    The way you write it, it kind of sounds like you don't actually want her to join you. Which is fine, just, confusing. And I'm wondering what you actually expect for the future of this relationship. The reality of being in a serious relationship with someone who makes a lot less money than you is
    via u/Horror_Importance886
  • 20
    that you're going to end up paying for more stuff if you want to have a relatively normal partnership, unless you are both living within the lower earners means and just saving the rest.
    via u/Horror_Importance886
  • 21
    Lilac-Roses-Suns... . 18h ago NTA. I would tell her. The thing is what you really should be thinking about is What kind of person would put their vacation needs over their families basic needs? She sounds selfish and self centered. Are you absolutely sure she isn't trying to guilt YOU into paying for her vacation?
    via u/Lilac-Roses-Sunsets
  • 22
    Old-Dog-6674 . 18h ago Is she really that irresponsible.. seriously bro. She's broke. Her family is broke. And her priority is going on a vacation. She ain't earned no damned vacation!! She needs to reevaluate what's truly important. Personally I think you are the AH for not confronting her about this. Sorry for being so hard on you bro
    via u/Old-Dog-6674
  • 23
    fungibleprofessio... . 18h ago NTA for offering the advice, as long as it doesn't sound like you're telling her you don't want her there. Everything you're saying sounds rational, but if I was dating someone for a year and they couldn't afford to join me on a certain vacation, I'd probably figure out a way
    via u/fungibleprofessional
  • 24
    to fix that. Specifically, I'd probably skip Florida and come straight home from work trip and find a more local/affordable way for you to spend your vacation days together. Side note I'd be super ped if my significant. other ditched me for Florida.
    via u/fungibleprofessional
  • 25
    It would be more palatable to me if you stayed around Vegas and did stuff. First, it's more like you're extending your paid-for trip, not taking a completely separate trip without her. Second, Florida is 100% NOT worth tanking a relationship over.
    via u/fungibleprofessional

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